By Narsha James (BSc, MA)
For many persons, thanksgiving and open expressions of gratitude usually manifest within the last few months of the year. For some, it may even spill over into their new year’s resolutions checklist to generate a sense of new beginnings and optimistic planning. With momentum, this ‘resolution’ may last for a few months. If we were to be transparent, for most people, a month may be quite a stretch. However, is there value in aiming for continuous gratitude? The answer is a resounding yes. Before we continue on the value of this concept of making gratitude an everyday life ingredient, it is important to clarify that in this case, gratitude is more than simply giving or saying thanks. Allow me to extend the concept of gratitude to more than just naming people and things for whom or which we are grateful. Gratitude involves reflection, verbalization and action. This action takes the form of giving. When we are grateful, we do not stop at thoughts and words but are moved into behaviors that show our gratitude. These overt illustrations should be given both to God and our fellow human beings. However, before we focus on behavior, let us consider the reflection element of gratitude.
Reflecting on who or what we are grateful for can aid in positive cognitive restructuring. What we spend time thinking about influences our perception, behavior, attitude, motivation, wellbeing etc. The process of reflecting should not be rushed or haphazard. Much like my son would behave whenever he is hungry and worship is taking too long. He would just blurt out “Thank God for everything!” On the contrary, we should take time to contemplate on the many reasons we have to be grateful. This also includes the people and circumstances that are not pleasant in our lives. Reflecting on the potential lessons that a difficult situation can teach us (if we are open to it) can shift our thoughts from worry and frustration to contentment and gratitude. Shaping our minds in this way is a priceless treasure in the stores of our mental wellbeing (Emmons & Mishra, 2011). A healthy mind is something that is worth investing in and the notion of reflecting on what or who we are grateful for is a simple tool to use that can help us along that road.
Verbalizing our gratitude is around the bend of that road. This step is what most of us usually engage in. We can probably seek to increase the frequency at which it is done or the depth of our words. Positive and genuine words of gratitude can feed the hunger of emotional security. There are some people who feel loved when they receive words of affirmation (Chapman & Campbell, 2016). They soak up these words of gratitude like water in the desert. What is essential though, is that these verbalizations should be authentic from the heart. Engaging in shallow flattery serves neither the speaker nor the hearer any good. Pay attention to your words and give genuine thanks for specific things or experiences. The benefit of verbalizing our gratitude doesn’t only serve those to whom we speak. It also helps us to develop the tendency to see and say what is good and pleasing about our lives and the people in it.
Speaking words of gratitude is in some part putting gratitude into action. However, in the final step of continuous gratitude, the focus is more on giving than saying. There is an added benefit when you decide to give because you are grateful, including increased subjective wellbeing, life satisfaction, and improved relationships (Zheng et al., 2021). This benefit is especially seen among religious people who are grateful to God (Rosmarin et al., 2011). What we give does not have to be measured in monetary terms. The value of our giving can also be encapsulated in quality time, energy/effort, and behaviors that show we care. Since this is of a good report (as outlined in Philippians 4:8) we should definitely think and act on this concept of continuous gratitude.
References
Chapman, G., & Campbell, R. (2016). The 5 Love Languages/5 Love Languages for Men/5 Love Languages of Teenagers/5 Love Languages of Children. Moody Publishers.
Emmons, R. A., & Mishra, A. (2011). Why gratitude enhances well-being: What we know, what we need to know. Designing positive psychology: Taking stock and moving forward, 248, 262.
Rosmarin, D. H., Pirutinsky, S., Cohen, A. B., Galler, Y., & Krumrei, E. J. (2011). Grateful to God or just plain grateful? A comparison of religious and general gratitude. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 6(5), 389-396.
Zheng, X., Chen, J., & Li, Y. (2021). The association between charitable giving and happiness: Evidence from the Chinese General Social Survey. Quality & Quantity, 1-36.
